Little could "embroil" parents, especially if the young lived in married longer than the others, and in couples with high incomes.
American scientists have concluded that the appearance of the child in the family reduces the satisfaction of spouses in marriage. The degree of dissatisfaction affects financial situation, living together before marriage and relationships in families of parents of spouses.
In the eight-year study conducted at the University of Denver and the University of Texas A & M, attended by 218 couples. It was found that 90 per cent of the spouses are less satisfied with marriage after the birth of their first child. Especially strong this effect is observed in the period of adaptation to new conditions immediately after the appearance of progeny.
In addition, the researchers found that after the birth of the child more problems have spouses who lived together before marriage, as well as those whose parents often quarreled and divorced.
Smallest dissatisfaction relationship after the child was observed for those spouses who have lived before he married longer than the others, and in couples with high incomes. Some couples said that the birth of the child has further strengthened their relationship.
According to one researcher Professor Stanley Scott (Scott Stanley), should not be interpreted as the outcome of the claim that a baby reduces the happiness of life in general - after passing the temporary difficulties, it is possible to build a strong and happy family that brings great satisfaction to all its members .
It should be remembered that there were fewer divorces, the couple should think a hundred times if they can live together. Basically, everything happens on the emotions.
However, marriage - it is a huge work of two people, but sometimes we forget about it.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
What better to do, learning on the internet
Ironically, even in the virtual romantic relationship there are certain rules, the violation of which leads to the cessation of all communication. Women are often violate these unspoken rules, not even knowing it, and then wonder why the man did not answer their messages.
First, chatting in or join the e-mails, does not describe all the vicissitudes of his life, no matter how interesting it was. Most likely, such candor will scare the man, and he does not want to continue communication.
Give him the most important thing, without any scary parts - have saved them for later, when he wants to know more. Yes, details to follow "issue" strictly dosed, clearly responding to a question, nothing more, nothing less.
For example, the question of whether you have brothers or sisters to be answered briefly - "yes" or "no" and not dwell on your difficult - or, conversely, idyllic - a relationship with them. Often, men are asked this question out of politeness and absolutely do not expect to hear in response to the history of life in the spirit of Mexican melodramas.
So, just write what you have, for example, brother and sister, and show reciprocal interest. You should ask him as many questions as he was to you, that the parties were on equal footing. Nothing annoys a man as boring and verbose woman is not able to in time to be quiet and listen.
Secondly, NEVER, under any circumstances, do not lie. No doubt, sooner or later, your deception will certainly be revealed - as a rule, at the most inopportune moment. Many women (and men too) are lying about their age, marital status, height, weight, appearance and other important things, hoping to attract the attention of as many fans.
They made a big mistake. If so you will get acquainted with a man who will be really interesting to you, your deception will still be revealed, and further relations will be impossible. So honesty is still the best policy.
Sooner or later, find someone who likes you for what is, without embellishment. It will develop these relationships - depends on you. <
Finally, do not exhibit excessive activity. No need to overwhelm a man reports, postcards and photographs, or he thinks you are desperate, and that it immediately put off.
First of all, men - the conquerors, and if victory goes to them too easily, they quickly lose interest in it. But this does not mean to play the touchy and ignore the message.
Do not try the patience of men - believe me, it is not unlimited. So, look for a middle ground - not to fall asleep his letters, but do not make me wait for an answer too long. Do not lose your head - leave this matter to the man.
First, chatting in or join the e-mails, does not describe all the vicissitudes of his life, no matter how interesting it was. Most likely, such candor will scare the man, and he does not want to continue communication.
Give him the most important thing, without any scary parts - have saved them for later, when he wants to know more. Yes, details to follow "issue" strictly dosed, clearly responding to a question, nothing more, nothing less.
For example, the question of whether you have brothers or sisters to be answered briefly - "yes" or "no" and not dwell on your difficult - or, conversely, idyllic - a relationship with them. Often, men are asked this question out of politeness and absolutely do not expect to hear in response to the history of life in the spirit of Mexican melodramas.
So, just write what you have, for example, brother and sister, and show reciprocal interest. You should ask him as many questions as he was to you, that the parties were on equal footing. Nothing annoys a man as boring and verbose woman is not able to in time to be quiet and listen.
Secondly, NEVER, under any circumstances, do not lie. No doubt, sooner or later, your deception will certainly be revealed - as a rule, at the most inopportune moment. Many women (and men too) are lying about their age, marital status, height, weight, appearance and other important things, hoping to attract the attention of as many fans.
They made a big mistake. If so you will get acquainted with a man who will be really interesting to you, your deception will still be revealed, and further relations will be impossible. So honesty is still the best policy.
Sooner or later, find someone who likes you for what is, without embellishment. It will develop these relationships - depends on you. <
Finally, do not exhibit excessive activity. No need to overwhelm a man reports, postcards and photographs, or he thinks you are desperate, and that it immediately put off.
First of all, men - the conquerors, and if victory goes to them too easily, they quickly lose interest in it. But this does not mean to play the touchy and ignore the message.
Do not try the patience of men - believe me, it is not unlimited. So, look for a middle ground - not to fall asleep his letters, but do not make me wait for an answer too long. Do not lose your head - leave this matter to the man.
Do I need to "save" marriage?
Is it possible to glue together pieces of a broken marriage? And whether you want to do this? How to maintain family clinical psychologist with many years of experience, "broken" (ie, crisis) the marriage can be saved, but that both spouses must make every effort, patience and willingness to compromise.
In general, psychologists are five basic steps for the attainment of peace in the shattered family. Follow them - perhaps because you can actually save your marriage, heal broken hearts, to keep children healthy psyche, and property - divided. However, this requires a serious psychic work of both spouses ... But it's worth it!
As you should know, marriage - it is not a perpetual holiday, and a solid romance. Unfortunately, most of us are disastrously unprepared for this discovery. If your marriage is a crack, you know, you're not alone. Only in America with this problem sooner or later faces every second family.
The few that declare their absolute marital happiness and marital perfect understanding - either liars, or take drugs and why they all seem to say the least happy. But the problem is not that family life is the difficulty, but in how you and your husband / wife are committed to each other and are ready to overcome them together. So:
1. Recognize the seriousness of the problem.
If one spouse is going through a crisis, the crisis facing their marriage. Too often one partner suffers from a lack of understanding on a daily basis, while the other does not want to notice, lives in a blind (often deliberately chosen) ignorance, ignoring the seriousness of the problem.
If this situation is prolonged for too long, dissatisfied party may lose patience to decide on the most unexpected (in the opinion of the other party) acts, for example, treachery, departure, withdrawal, or even divorce. Believe me, in all family problems and quarrels are always to blame for both spouses. To the marriage failed, try to be both. If the marriage fails, blame should also be both.
2. Do not wait until the situation will resolve itself - go for it!
Most couples have been inactive for too long, and recalls only when it is too late to save the marriage impossible. While they have been inactive mutual insults, accusations, confusion and anger grow like a snowball, and as a result of such magnitude that deal with them is impossible, and neither spouse is not ready to forgive each other and make the first step towards reconciliation.
In rare cases, couples still like to refer to a family psychologist, counselor, but the pain is so severe that she was not overcome.
A marriage breaks up - first in my life, and then on paper.
3. Seek professional help.
If your family life is threatened, do not try to fix it yourself: I agree, if you knew how to do it, you would not have appeared in such situations. Yes, it is not easy to reveal the soul is absolutely a stranger is not easy to admit to the most intimate.
Yes, this requires considerable courage, but you swore to live with his elect (chosen one) to the grave, and sincerely believed in it - so why not make one more effort to save this union? First of all, you owe it to yourself.
A professional psychologist has extensive experience, special skills, he can reflect on your problem at a deeper level and give useful advice.
In addition, he will carefully listen to all your stories, and such "confession" facilitate your soul. But one should not guess that advises psychologist and how he will treat your situation.
Do not deprive your marriage a chance for salvation, does not belong to a psychologist a prejudiced - perhaps his assistance would be truly effective.
4. Be prepared to critically evaluate themselves.
In an uneasy alliance family partners know exactly opposite side of the shortcomings, and lay all the blame on her. Undoubtedly, this is very valuable information, but this is only half the picture. If you do not learn to take responsibility for errors or family problems, your marriage is doomed to failure.
5. Be ready for change.
Paradoxically, but after such an "overhaul" Marriage can be better and stronger than before the crisis, of course, if both spouses find the strength and wisdom to acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them.
In this case, a change - a synonym for development when you learn to listen not only to themselves but also for its second half, when you're ready to make mature informed decisions and to find compromise and to overcome the temptation to destructive thinking and behavior.
Regardless of how successful will "repair" your family boat, for the sake of these goals is to try. Such personality changes, of course, will benefit you, your work and relationships. Lose you still have nothing, but the payoff - is enormous.
Sure, the sad statistics of divorce you know: almost half of marriages ending in divorce. But no statistics can not tell you the following: serious work on the mistakes in marriage significantly increases your chances to save it.
Even today you can take a decision that will change your whole future life. Just try to follow that advice. Miracles still happen sometimes - especially with those who are ready to make some effort to do so.
In general, psychologists are five basic steps for the attainment of peace in the shattered family. Follow them - perhaps because you can actually save your marriage, heal broken hearts, to keep children healthy psyche, and property - divided. However, this requires a serious psychic work of both spouses ... But it's worth it!
As you should know, marriage - it is not a perpetual holiday, and a solid romance. Unfortunately, most of us are disastrously unprepared for this discovery. If your marriage is a crack, you know, you're not alone. Only in America with this problem sooner or later faces every second family.
The few that declare their absolute marital happiness and marital perfect understanding - either liars, or take drugs and why they all seem to say the least happy. But the problem is not that family life is the difficulty, but in how you and your husband / wife are committed to each other and are ready to overcome them together. So:
1. Recognize the seriousness of the problem.
If one spouse is going through a crisis, the crisis facing their marriage. Too often one partner suffers from a lack of understanding on a daily basis, while the other does not want to notice, lives in a blind (often deliberately chosen) ignorance, ignoring the seriousness of the problem.
If this situation is prolonged for too long, dissatisfied party may lose patience to decide on the most unexpected (in the opinion of the other party) acts, for example, treachery, departure, withdrawal, or even divorce. Believe me, in all family problems and quarrels are always to blame for both spouses. To the marriage failed, try to be both. If the marriage fails, blame should also be both.
2. Do not wait until the situation will resolve itself - go for it!
Most couples have been inactive for too long, and recalls only when it is too late to save the marriage impossible. While they have been inactive mutual insults, accusations, confusion and anger grow like a snowball, and as a result of such magnitude that deal with them is impossible, and neither spouse is not ready to forgive each other and make the first step towards reconciliation.
In rare cases, couples still like to refer to a family psychologist, counselor, but the pain is so severe that she was not overcome.
A marriage breaks up - first in my life, and then on paper.
3. Seek professional help.
If your family life is threatened, do not try to fix it yourself: I agree, if you knew how to do it, you would not have appeared in such situations. Yes, it is not easy to reveal the soul is absolutely a stranger is not easy to admit to the most intimate.
Yes, this requires considerable courage, but you swore to live with his elect (chosen one) to the grave, and sincerely believed in it - so why not make one more effort to save this union? First of all, you owe it to yourself.
A professional psychologist has extensive experience, special skills, he can reflect on your problem at a deeper level and give useful advice.
In addition, he will carefully listen to all your stories, and such "confession" facilitate your soul. But one should not guess that advises psychologist and how he will treat your situation.
Do not deprive your marriage a chance for salvation, does not belong to a psychologist a prejudiced - perhaps his assistance would be truly effective.
4. Be prepared to critically evaluate themselves.
In an uneasy alliance family partners know exactly opposite side of the shortcomings, and lay all the blame on her. Undoubtedly, this is very valuable information, but this is only half the picture. If you do not learn to take responsibility for errors or family problems, your marriage is doomed to failure.
5. Be ready for change.
Paradoxically, but after such an "overhaul" Marriage can be better and stronger than before the crisis, of course, if both spouses find the strength and wisdom to acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them.
In this case, a change - a synonym for development when you learn to listen not only to themselves but also for its second half, when you're ready to make mature informed decisions and to find compromise and to overcome the temptation to destructive thinking and behavior.
Regardless of how successful will "repair" your family boat, for the sake of these goals is to try. Such personality changes, of course, will benefit you, your work and relationships. Lose you still have nothing, but the payoff - is enormous.
Sure, the sad statistics of divorce you know: almost half of marriages ending in divorce. But no statistics can not tell you the following: serious work on the mistakes in marriage significantly increases your chances to save it.
Even today you can take a decision that will change your whole future life. Just try to follow that advice. Miracles still happen sometimes - especially with those who are ready to make some effort to do so.
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