Do I need to "save" marriage?

Is it possible to glue together pieces of a broken marriage? And whether you want to do this? How to maintain family clinical psychologist with many years of experience, "broken" (ie, crisis) the marriage can be saved, but that both spouses must make every effort, patience and willingness to compromise.

In general, psychologists are five basic steps for the attainment of peace in the shattered family. Follow them - perhaps because you can actually save your marriage, heal broken hearts, to keep children healthy psyche, and property - divided. However, this requires a serious psychic work of both spouses ... But it's worth it!

As you should know, marriage - it is not a perpetual holiday, and a solid romance. Unfortunately, most of us are disastrously unprepared for this discovery. If your marriage is a crack, you know, you're not alone. Only in America with this problem sooner or later faces every second family.

The few that declare their absolute marital happiness and marital perfect understanding - either liars, or take drugs and why they all seem to say the least happy. But the problem is not that family life is the difficulty, but in how you and your husband / wife are committed to each other and are ready to overcome them together. So:

1. Recognize the seriousness of the problem.

If one spouse is going through a crisis, the crisis facing their marriage. Too often one partner suffers from a lack of understanding on a daily basis, while the other does not want to notice, lives in a blind (often deliberately chosen) ignorance, ignoring the seriousness of the problem.

If this situation is prolonged for too long, dissatisfied party may lose patience to decide on the most unexpected (in the opinion of the other party) acts, for example, treachery, departure, withdrawal, or even divorce. Believe me, in all family problems and quarrels are always to blame for both spouses. To the marriage failed, try to be both. If the marriage fails, blame should also be both.

2. Do not wait until the situation will resolve itself - go for it!

Most couples have been inactive for too long, and recalls only when it is too late to save the marriage impossible. While they have been inactive mutual insults, accusations, confusion and anger grow like a snowball, and as a result of such magnitude that deal with them is impossible, and neither spouse is not ready to forgive each other and make the first step towards reconciliation.

In rare cases, couples still like to refer to a family psychologist, counselor, but the pain is so severe that she was not overcome.
A marriage breaks up - first in my life, and then on paper.



3. Seek professional help.

If your family life is threatened, do not try to fix it yourself: I agree, if you knew how to do it, you would not have appeared in such situations. Yes, it is not easy to reveal the soul is absolutely a stranger is not easy to admit to the most intimate.

Yes, this requires considerable courage, but you swore to live with his elect (chosen one) to the grave, and sincerely believed in it - so why not make one more effort to save this union? First of all, you owe it to yourself.

A professional psychologist has extensive experience, special skills, he can reflect on your problem at a deeper level and give useful advice.

In addition, he will carefully listen to all your stories, and such "confession" facilitate your soul. But one should not guess that advises psychologist and how he will treat your situation.

Do not deprive your marriage a chance for salvation, does not belong to a psychologist a prejudiced - perhaps his assistance would be truly effective.

4. Be prepared to critically evaluate themselves.

In an uneasy alliance family partners know exactly opposite side of the shortcomings, and lay all the blame on her. Undoubtedly, this is very valuable information, but this is only half the picture. If you do not learn to take responsibility for errors or family problems, your marriage is doomed to failure.

5. Be ready for change.

Paradoxically, but after such an "overhaul" Marriage can be better and stronger than before the crisis, of course, if both spouses find the strength and wisdom to acknowledge their mistakes and learn from them.

In this case, a change - a synonym for development when you learn to listen not only to themselves but also for its second half, when you're ready to make mature informed decisions and to find compromise and to overcome the temptation to destructive thinking and behavior.

Regardless of how successful will "repair" your family boat, for the sake of these goals is to try. Such personality changes, of course, will benefit you, your work and relationships. Lose you still have nothing, but the payoff - is enormous.

Sure, the sad statistics of divorce you know: almost half of marriages ending in divorce. But no statistics can not tell you the following: serious work on the mistakes in marriage significantly increases your chances to save it.

Even today you can take a decision that will change your whole future life. Just try to follow that advice. Miracles still happen sometimes - especially with those who are ready to make some effort to do so.